


Broken Wings and Bleeding Hearts

by GentianBalboa



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, poor Tim, sad stuff happenes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-16 22:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3504296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GentianBalboa/pseuds/GentianBalboa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love. It was such a strange word. Tim Drake had never truly known what it meant. He had always been forced to fend for himself. But things start to change as he lays bleeding out in an alleyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tim

Tim did not know what it meant to love someone or what it felt like to be loved. He had read every textbook definition of the word, and he could recite poems so profound and heartfelt that they would bring tears to people's eyes. Even so, he does not know what it felt like to love someone or to be loved. He has read that it is the feeling parents have for their children. That had confused him the first time he had read it. His parents had never loved him. And that was a fact, not some teenage angst. He knows this is a fact because his parents had told him. He can still vividly remember the first time his mother had told him that she did not love him.

He was seven years old and it was on Christmas.

Christmas had never been a happy time for his family. His mother and father were never home by choice, but because it was socially expected of them to be. It was the longest time all year that the both of them were home. From December 21st to January 4th they would be stuck inside the house with each other. They would much rather have been traveling or going to parties. The day of Christmas had always been the worst. There were no parties to go to and everywhere was closed. And Tim knew his parents hated it. He could tell by the harsh words and glass objects that the threw.

But the first time that his mother had said she did not want him had been different.

His father had been downstairs watching some sports program. While his mother and he had been in their library. It was sometime in the afternoon, he was not really sure. She had been sitting on a couch they kept in there, reading some book he had long since forgotten the name of. And he had been sitting at he feet, reading a book far too large for his tiny hands. But when she had said it, she had spoken in a tone so cold and cruel. The voice that she had used to tear he enemies apart and bringing grown men to tears.

"I _never_ wanted you," she had stated as though it was something small, her eyes never leaving her book. "Jack was the one who wanted children. I would have been better off _never_ having you." Tim did not cry when theses hurtful words left her mouth. She was just confirming what he already knew.

The first time his father had told him he did not love him was very different from his mother.

It had been a few months after his mother's death. He not sure whether or not his father ever mourned his mother. It had seemed as though he was relieved after her death. Tim thinks that maybe why he had moved on so quickly.

It was June 3rd when it had happened.

His father had walked into his room holding a football under his arm and had a large grin on his face. Tim can no longer the exacted words that had been said or how it had started, but they had started to fight. And it had ended with his father glaring at him and angrily spitting, "Having you was a _mistake_." Before leaving his room and slamming the door behind him. They had not talked much after that. His father had died a few years after that and he had gone to live with Bruce.

Now Bruce was a whole other story. Bruce had never loved him. Bruce unlike his parents, had never outright told him. Brue had never been one for words he had always spoken through his actions. And Tim could tell, it was in the way that Bruce could not get his name right for the first month of him being Robin. It was in the rigorous training that he was put through that was never enough, were he was never good enough. In the way, that everything he did was a mistake. In the way that he was never 'son'. It was in the way he was treated as tho he was a tool for convenience. And that was made clear when he was essentially blackmailed into giving up Robin and Bruce did not say a single word of protest or lift a finger to stop him. Instead, he had someone else in the Robin costume the next day.

He had never resented Stephanie for that. He can understand that it was an opportunity that could not be passed up. He wants to say that he loved her, but as much as he wants to he can't. He knows he did not love her like she had loved him. He could tell by the numb feeling he got when he held her, or when he kissed her. He did not know what love was, but he was sure that this was not it. Now it wasn't that he was not physically attracted to her, but that was more of hormones. In the end, they had a mutual break-up.

Cassandra and he would never love each other. But they had an understanding. They were colleagues, they worked together and that was it.

He knows that Dick did not love him. It showed when he took Robin from him and called him crazy when he said Bruce was alive. It was in the way he never defended him whenever Damian threw harsh words at him.

Barbara and he had never really talked outside of Oracle and Robin.

Jason and Damian were not even a question. They hated him and he was reminded of that each time they tried to kill him.

Sometimes when Tim is alone with his thoughts he wonders if he was in love with Conner. He knows that how he acted after the others death was not by any means normal. He had not gone that far off the edge when Bart or Stephanie had died. And he was much more happy to see Conner again. Don't misunderstand he was happy when he had found out Bart, Stephanie and even Bruce was alive. But after everything had calmed down and he had seen Conner again he could not hold himself back and gave the other a hug. Tim had never been one to initiate any form of physical contact. And when he had looked at Conner's face he felt as though he was flying.

Sometimes he wonders what Conner thinks of him. He supposes it is like a friend.

Even so throughout all this he does not resent any of the people in his life for not loving him, or really even caring. Because how could he expect other to love or care for him when his own parents could not.

He wonders if that is what got him to where he is now.

Alone in some dirty back alley, bleeding out on the concrete.

He knows that this is the end.

He knows he is going to die.

It is just another fact.

He wants to resent them though. He wants to hate them for not loving him, for not caring enough to be here. He wants to curse them with his dying breath for letting him die in some filthy alleyway alone. But no matter how hard he tries he can not. He can't bring himself to truly hate them.

Maybe this was what love was.

The unconditional will to protect someone no matter what.

Either that or he was crazy.

He does wonder if anyone will miss him. If anyone will mourn his death. If any tears will be shed for him. Or if anyone will even notice. He hopes someone will notice. He does not want his corpse rooting in this alleyway.

His vision is getting blurry now.

He is not really sure why, but Conner's face keeps popping up in his head. He wants to see him. He does not want to leave without telling him goodbye.

Everything is hazy now. Somehow this is worse then his vision was only blurry. Everything in spinning and he can't seem to think straight.

He knows he does not have much longer.

He takes a sharp intake of air. The wound on his side burns with the movement.

" 'm sorry Kon." he rasped.

And then everything goes black.


	2. Conner

Conner knew what it meant to love someone, what it meant to be loved. He also knew what it meant to lose the people that he loved.

He had never loved while he was in Cadmus, he hadn't really felt anything. Those days had passed in a blur. It was not long after he had left Cadmus that he met Tana. He could easily say that she was the very first person that he had loved. And her death had crushed him. It was not the first time he had seen someone die, and he knew it would not be the last. The life of a superhero was by no means pretty. But it had been the first time someone he had lost someone he loved.

He did not date for awhile after that, until he had met Cassie.

She was strong, beautiful, and had a fire in her eyes that could bring anyone to their knees. Being with her had made the world seem so bright. But after things with Superboy-Prime had calmed down, and he had essentially come back from the dead. Well, a lot had changed in a year he had been gone. They had stayed together for a few months before they had decided to see other people. They had become different people, who wanted different things. They had remained friends and teammates. And somehow there was no awkward tension between them.

Conner would without hesitation say that he loved the Titans. They were his family. He also loved Clark and Kara as though they were family, which the sorta were. And he absolutely adored Ma' and Pa' Kent. Their farm in Smallville had become a safe haven for him. Someplace where he could go and for a short period of time and just forget the rest of the world existed.

And then there was Tim.

When he had first met Tim he had hated him. During their days as Young Justice, they did nothing but fight. But things had begun to calm down after they had become the Titans. They had grown as people and with that their relationship had grown as well. And soon they had become best friends, and before Conner knew it he could not imagine his life without Tim. When Tim had quit being Robin he had no idea what to do. Then the next day some girl had shown up in  _Tim's_  costume. Conner had been sickened by how fast someone else had replaced him.

He had listens for hours to heartbeats of the world until he found Tim's. He had followed the sound to Tim. And when he saw him he could immediately tell that something was wrong. Tim's eyes were bloodshot and his hair was a mess. Conner had asked him if he was alright, even tho he already knew the answer.

Tim had laughed, his voice hoarse, and said he was fine. In the end, Conner had to leave before he could convince Tim to become Robin again.

He had never warmed up to the new Robin and she had been fired very quickly. He did feel bad that she was forced to give up the suit.

It was a few weeks later Tim had come back. Conner had been ecstatic. He had his best friend back. It was a few days later that Conner had found out that Tim's father had died. He had kept a close eye on his friend after that.

It was a year or two later that Superboy-Prime had appeared.

The fight had been long and he did not make it out. Looking back he found it strange that his last thought had been of Tim and not Cassie. He did not have time to think about it after it had happened. Because after his 'death', he had woken up in the future with a war raging around him. And that did not give him any time to be thinking about the small stuff.

When he had finally made it back, he had been so happy that he had he had felt high, he had come crashing back to earth when he found out just how much had changed.

Bruce Wayne was dead.

Dick Grayson was Batman.

There was someone else in the Robin costume.

Tim was no longer a member of the Titans and no one had a way to contact him.

Conner had panicked and listened for days to find Tim's heartbeat. When he finally did find Tim, he was in Paris.

He had been expecting a lot of things when saw Tim. He had been expecting a heartfelt reunion with tears and maybe even a hug. He had not been expecting to see Tim to in Jason's old Red Robin costume, or for him to simply say his name, as though nothing had changed. For Tim to show no emotion to the fact that he was back from the dead.

He had followed Tim to one of Luthor's old labs and he had been unprepared to hear what Tim had said.

Tim had tried to clone him after his death.

Tim had been so broken after his death that he had tried to clone him.

He could not find it in himself to be mad.

They had sat in silence until Tim had told him that Bruce was alive. And when Conner had told him that he believed him, the visible loss of tension in Tims body had given him mixed feelings. He was happy that Tim had seemed to brighten up at his words. But he was also been worried by the fact that Tim had been so tense. It was almost as tho he had been expecting a fight.

At the time, he had not known what his words had meant to Tim. It was only now that he knew Tim had been expecting him to call him crazy, just like everyone else had.

He did not see Tim for two months or maybe it was longer.

It had felt like an eternity.

He had been worried when finally got the chance to see Tim again and he had just stood there in silence. He was, well, the best way he could put it was to say he was surprised, when Tim jumped into his arms and gave him a hug. He was happy to see Tim smile again, especially after everything that had happened with their last encounter.

They had met several times after that and nothing big happened. Well, everything in their line of work could be considered big, but nothing that had made a huge dent in Conners mind. Except that he could remember every little detail, down to the tiniest movements that Tim had made.

It was sometime during one of those missions that he picked up a strange habit.

Anytime he was stressed, sad, or even if he was just bored, he would listen to Tim heartbeat. The constant steadily beat of Tim's heart filled him with a strange emotion. It calmed him down and yet somehow it made him high at the same time.

And that was what he was doing now. Listening to the beat of Tim's heart.

He was laying on his bed at Kent farm. His eyes closed, listening to the sound as though it was an elegant song. And then suddenly he heard Tim's heart speed up and the start to slow down. Conner had sat up and listened as Tims heartbeat continued to slow down. Conner was worried, Tim's heartbeat had become dangerously slow.

Unnaturally slow.

But he knew Tim would be fine. The other Bats would watch Tim's back, and make sure nothing bad would happen to him.

And then he heard it.

Tim's voice, broken and so small as he struggled to speak. " 'm sorry Kon."

and then everything was quite.


End file.
